Bryan Hoelzer & Kathryn Hoelzer Team Hoelzer TEAM HOELZER NEWSLETTER
		IF YOUR HOME HAD RESOLUTIONS: 19 FUNNY PROMISES YOUR HOUSE WOULD MAKE Every year, we make promises to ourselves—exercise more, eat healthier, maybe call Aunt Susan back for once. But have you ever wondered what resolutions your house might make if it could talk? Let’s face it: your home knows you better than anyone else. And if it had a list of New Year’s goals, it might go something like this: I promise to stop eating your Wi-Fi signal right before a big meeting. I’ll keep the fridge lightbulb alive for more than a week this time. No more hiding your keys in the couch cushions.   Seven Tricks to Help You Stop Losing Your Phone (and Wallet, and Keys)   If you're forever leaving your phone, wallet, or keys behind, here are some simple tricks that can help. I’ll stop tilting the picture frames like I’m trying to start an art movement. From now on, the garbage disposal will *only* sound scary when something’s actually wrong. I’ll make sure the shower stays hot for everyone, not just the first person. No more slamming cupboard doors when I’m feeling dramatic. I’ll let you enjoy one cup of coffee before starting a ‘mystery beep’. I’ll stop using the wind to make the attic sound haunted. The light switch in the hallway will finally remember what it’s supposed to do. I’ll hold off on the ‘dust bunny army’ until spring cleaning season. I’ll stop letting the windows whistle during storms like they’re auditioning for a horror movie. The dryer lint trap and I are done hoarding your change. No more ‘unexpected’ drafts when you’re watching TV under a blanket. I’ll stop laughing every time you stub your toe on the bed frame. From now on, the bathroom mirror will stay fog-free—unless it’s *really* dramatic steam. I’ll keep your charger cords exactly where you left them. No more disappearing acts. No more pretending the dishwasher is clean when it’s not. I’ll stop secretly growing moldy science experiments in the back of the fridge.								7492 Bridgetown Road 4704 Kirby Avenue 580 Auburn Grove Drive 1734 Sherman Avenue 408 Jefferson Ave

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		Bryan Hoelzer & Kathryn Hoelzer Team Hoelzer  513-839-5595 | 513-839-5003 [email protected]